'Just Because' - and other reasons we should write the bad stories

The new gold standard is a goal standard.  Our new obsessions don’t need to be detrimental- they can enhance our positive characteristics if we focus on the process, not final results. Building strong habits is important for a content life, but stepping away from work is just as necessary. I went to my dream travel destination (Japan!) about a month ago and returned expecting my perspective on routine tasks to change. Let’s break down my thought process before the freewrite spirals from my control.

Similar to many readers, I have a neverending TBR.  On January 1st, 2025, I announced on Goodreads that I would read at least 50 novels — and now the automated timeline has declared me three books late. Still, I am adding more books to the running list in my Notes app. Every so often, I scroll through my Goodreads profile and check my followers’ progress. Like a helicopter parent surveying the neighborhood, I stalk through their timelines and take note. Follower 47 is three books ahead. Follower 25 is no longer participating. Follower 13 is reading a book I placed on my favorites shelf last year. One fact is for sure: feeding my competitive edge on a reading platform was not a highlight I will boast about. 

When did we stop testing our boundaries just because we could? In a child’s world, scribbling over white walls or carseats with permanent markers is normal behavior. Exploring is enriching, stimulating and fun! A toddler’s world is limitless because it has no conventions, no standards or borders. They have no sense for obeying 2-d shapes or abstract philosophy. 

Despite my respect for rules and instructions, my personal view leans away from approaching life with a user manual. As an individual who relies on Google Maps for directions to her school after about three years taking the same route, I would pay for a user manual that made life’s small troubles easier. If every productive minute spent converted into a marketable skill or refined product, I could languish in my newfound stability. Though, I wonder whether I would be satisfied by perfection. Where would I draw my amusement if not for the countless negative reviews I scroll through on Goodreads (kidding, somewhat)?

Today, I want to write the worst fiction in existence. The story would be composed in comic sans font. No expectations for myself or the future readers who will discover its existence. A first draft before it gets vaulted into my internet corner. I could outline the story’s premise, but not the plot - plot gives stories an anchor, and I crave to understand the writer who sinks ships for no purpose. An unhinged, spontaneous person. One day, I aspire to be the moviegoer who walks into a theater without knowing how the movie was reviewed. My opinion shouldn’t be based upon critic statements, though they can provide good supplements. 

In John Green’s book ‘Everything is Tuberculosis,’ one line which stuck with me was: “most of life is a process, not individual experience.” Our memories are cross-posted and shared across social media platforms, but honest personalization is rooted in spontaneity. Curated moments often overlook the horrible first drafts before a final product. We are allowed to feel pride at our achievements, but not display our complicated struggles. 

And so, I told myself I would publish the first draft of this blog post. No checking over grammar, awkward phrasing, and numbering how many times I used a specific transition. I can break the conventions and meld my words for no good reason just because. I encourage you to try alongside me so I’m not uncomfortable alone.

Read the quotes, poems, and family histories. Lose yourself in the research rabbit holes over a hyper fixation you’ve been interested in exploring. See a movie with the bad reviews and either bond with friends over the horrific experience or explore why connections have greater possibility when they aren’t suppressed. You may even enjoy the film in a world where all the others despise every minute. Each opinion, inside joke, core memory and embarrassing tradition you engage with is a part of your identity. 

Life is no utopia, and cultivating dreams is important to lend us hope. Achievement and success are both rewarding and well-deserved after working hard at a specific skill or sacrificing comfort so you can put yourself into larger social spaces. Making intentional decisions requires concrete thoughts, or at least personal resolve to push through challenges. These steps should be acknowledged. 

And yet. Hyperproductivity and striving toward abstract goals shouldn’t obscure our individuality, even if they result in greater wealth or the correct ‘progress’ according to society. 

Media I’ve been consuming for your inspiration:

Atmosphere by Taylor Jenkins Reid 

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